I think we all feel confused or bewildered by the possibility of penalizing abortion, even in cases of rape, and of punishing the women who undergo it.
Why should the victim of an assault be punished, instead of punishing the one who abused her with all imaginable violence? Arguments come and go, and many of them only confuse us and produce feelings of powerlessness and anger.
For those of us who, besides being women, are mothers, these matters are especially sensitive; and in these times characterized by incredible scientific and technical advances, I think we must use all our intellectual and human capacity to see that these things do not happen. I am referring both to the crimes against so many innocent people and to the “unjust” application of “justice”.
I believe we should not look for simple solutions or cookbook recipes for phenomena that are far too complex and serious. All of this calls for great and profound study. What we could indeed talk about is this:
What can a woman do in the face of a possible rape?
According to what the statistics of our country and of many others indicate, although every young woman —and even a girl— is a candidate to be attacked by a scoundrel, how she is accustomed to dress matters a great deal, for there is clothing we can describe as provocative, whether because of the type of fabric, how tightly it fits the body, or because it is too short.
It is advisable that, after certain hours —and this will depend on the season of the year— we women try not to go about alone, and still less to pass through places assumed to be dangerous. In this, the cooperation of us parents who have daughters is important.
In a very special way, we mothers must earn the trust of our daughters, so that they feel at ease telling us things from the very first insinuations. These may even come from relatives, especially if they are stepfathers, uncles, or older cousins who live in the same house. We will gain this trust from the time our children are very small. To achieve it, we have to overcome the fear of talking to them about sexual education; we can ask for help from professionals, more experienced teachers, or other parents. This must not be done once or twice; it must be constant from the time they are little. The tone of voice we use when correcting them also has a great influence. The more we shout, the less moral authority we gain, and our children pull away.
We will not gain that trust by telling them phrases such as: “Look, I am your mom or dad; when you need advice you can come to me”; but rather through deeds, through friendly and understanding treatment from the time they are born.
What should we do in the face of a woman who has been raped?
I believe we are all obliged to live the virtue of solidarity, which consists in knowing that “we are all responsible for all” and that “none of us is exempt from anything”. Therefore, if we learn that a young girl or a woman of any age has been raped, it falls to us to give her all our affection, understanding, and support. Let us avoid bringing up the subject so as not to hurt her further, unless she brings it up herself. If she does, let us make her feel that she, like her child, is worth a great deal, and that having been the victim of such a detestable act does not diminish her personal worth in the slightest.
Fortunately, in our country there are institutions with much experience that handle these cases and provide a woman with every kind of help, including the possibility of placing her child for adoption, when she so decides or knows that she cannot give the child the affection and care needed.
I think we should open more centers of guidance and sexual education for women. On the other hand, the penalties for the rapist should also be increased, so that they are exemplary. To give them a punishment so great that it forces them to think twice.
I keenly share the pain, the distress, and the rage of a woman who has been raped. The always difficult and controversial question would be: are the circumstances surrounding the conception and birth of a baby what determine the value of its life? That new being, with an identity of its own, what fault does it bear? We cannot remedy a tremendous injustice (the rape) with a greater one: abortion.
Abortion is murder, regardless of the reason that gives rise to a new life. We cannot eliminate the trauma of a raped woman by making it easy for her to commit the crime of killing an innocent human being herself. Experiences in these cases vary, for just as some women feel aversion toward the unwanted child, others, on the contrary, come not only to accept him but to love him, simply because he is their own child.
I am sure that defending life will, without doubt, lead to greater justice and to more respect of man for man. I believe we should not see it as a political program, nor as a cultural alternative, but as a concrete way of driving violence away. If we accept that a mother may kill her baby, how could we ask others not to kill one another?
Author: Gaby Vargas
Source: Encuentra.com
