I had devoted some years to the Defense of the Faith within my Catholic Church; yet this knowledge had stirred up in me feelings of boastfulness, arrogance, vanity, and the like. I knew “everything” necessary to defend the Church, for to me everyone else was a heretic. I did not know what God had prepared for me, to make me reflect and to make His will known to me. And so, after having given courses on the Defense of the Faith in several Catholic churches, the farewell would come, without my knowing that I would be led into the desert, to reflect upon my attitudes.
After six months of the study I had been giving to that Catholic group of 50 people who used to gather in a house, all the topics were exhausted. The people asked to know more and more, and I began to give them directly from the Bible whatever I found, trying to reflect upon it and explain it. Yet I know that I did wrong, for I used Scripture to contend, to destroy, to mock others; Scripture was a weapon I used to harm the little ones who believe in Christ. (Lk 17:2)
It was thus that I now understand that I did not know how to love or to forgive, for Scripture must be meditated upon with love for God and in the Holy Spirit, Our Lord, acknowledging our offenses and sins, giving thanks to God for His great mercy toward us sinners.
Scripture must never be used for evil, but to console, to edify, and to instruct in righteousness the Church of the Living God, the temple of the Spirit which we, who believe in Christ Jesus, are. In it we must seek Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who came not to judge nor to condemn men, but to give His life for the salvation of everyone who trusts in Him and obeys Him; for it was for this that Christ came into the world, to save that which was lost. (Jn 12:47)
But that Apostle of the Word considered himself God’s “champion,” the Saul defending the truth, so full of the knowledge that puffs up but does not save—until he was struck down. He searched the Scripture only to fill still fuller the cup of arrogance and vainglory; he was the teacher of those who do not know, the light for those who do not see, yet what he did not know was that he was wretched, poor, blind, and naked, one who through the knowledge of the letter thought to find the favor of God. And so it was that the veil of vainglory covered my face, and I forgot forgiveness and mercy. Religious zeal eclipsed love. Mercy fled from me. And the judge arose.
I began to “discover” the errors of others. But my Catholic Church was also mistaken! And only that Apostle of the Word was in the truth. The veil of human wisdom had been placed over me, and my eyes needed an eye-salve, for, as I would put it, to “see”—and in this my sin was reflected: it was my own self-righteousness (Jn 9:40-41). Then I was led into the desert of life, to wander and to dwell in that emptiness produced by the self-centeredness of a literalist vainglory, stripped of the warmth of my community, of my brethren. And I voluntarily left the Catholic Church.
Resentment took hold of me; I had ceased to believe in the good will of the Catholic Church founded by Jesus Christ. I believed the Church had “deceived” me, because I wanted a perfect Church, without spot or wrinkle, almost heavenly. I had been unable to accept the patience of the Catholic Church toward the weak and those without knowledge, toward those who do not know how to read the Bible and still need the rudiments of their Faith. I could not tolerate that the Catholic Church gave them milk and not the solid food of the spiritually mature. I had become a learned and merciless Pharisee.
But as for me, the letter was dealing me death, and I needed the love of the Spirit of God, for I did not discern with just judgment but judged according to the flesh (Jn 8:15)
In that condition I remained for 3 years in solitude, feeding myself on the Bible, distrusting the Church and the churches, for only I “knew” something of the truth, and everyone else was mistaken. I was a castaway living on an island after having weathered the storm that had cast me up from the sea. I remember that evening when, so disillusioned by what I considered to be wrong in my Catholic Church, I gave myself to Christ Jesus, asking to be led by Him alone.
In prayer I asked the Lord to give me of His Holy Word, that I might know the Truth and follow it together with my sisters who also read with me in those meetings. But the meetings in that house came to an end. Since I did not want to form a sect, I went home. I fell into a depression; nothing mattered to me anymore. I had been left without a Church, and I merely existed but did not live; thus I remained empty for a long time. Until my wife told me to go back and gather again with my sisters, and from there I began once more to read my Latin American Bible.
The Lord gave me joy, confidence, and peace in Him. Yet I wanted to find brethren who understood the Bible and who taught—so I thought—the Gospel biblically, the message of Christ. And I began to search.
As an Apostle of the Word, I had come to know what sectarian doctrines were like—doctrines that enslave and exploit their members—and so I ruled out the Jehovah’s Witnesses, the Mormons, the Sabbatarians, the Christian Scientists, La Luz del Mundo, and so on.
Only the evangelical churches remained. But the evangelical churches were divided into countless denominations, all of them preaching “the truth” of the “Gospel” of Christ. So one day I entered a church where they preached the Word, and as time went on I stayed with my brethren there; my wife one day found God, and we began to gather together. We remained there for 3 years; that “apostle of the Word” became the Pastor’s helper, and would go out with him to preach in nearby places, in some evangelical churches. Until the break came, over doctrinal matters and customs. The same thing happened at the 2nd evangelical church where I gathered afterward, once another 3 years had passed.
I will now set forth the reasons why I could not continue gathering in the evangelical churches.
It is important to point out that we Christians are a people, the New People of God, redeemed by Christ Jesus—provided that we are part of the Church founded by Jesus Christ. The Gospel of salvation through Faith in Christ Jesus is for everyone who believes in the Son of God, obeys Him, and seeks Unity in His Church. But before all else, repentance for our faults, for our offenses and sins, is necessary, so that we may surrender our contrite heart to Christ, and that thus the Spirit of grace which comes from the Father through His Son Jesus Christ may be poured out upon us. If this does not come to pass, there is no life of God in us; the life in abundance is not given, which is like rivers of living water that spring up unto Eternal Life. There would exist in us only “knowledge,” custom, the barren religiosity that bears no fruit. This is what John the Baptist meant when he rebuked the Pharisees. Salvation and Faith are gifts of God, and God is able to raise up children even from the stones
Love is true actions, not useless chatter. James 1:20
For the kingdom of God is not in words but in the Power of God, to give Eternal Life to everyone who believes in Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 4:20
I was an active member of that little evangelical church; I went every Tuesday night to the “service,” and on Sunday mornings with my family to the little Sunday school. Sometimes I would go out with the pastor to preach in a nearby town. The reading of the Bible was communal and participatory—any member could comment on what God was telling him in the reading of the Word; it was edifying for everyone. However, the little church had to affiliate itself with a larger church in order to obtain a registration with the provincial government, and from then on things changed, for the Headquarters Church, which was in another city, began to exercise its dominion over the other small churches; everything was to be regulated. And into the little church there began to arrive preachers coming from Mexico, with evangelistic messages a bit different from what the established norm was.
And so the contradictions began, along with religious legalism. I had noticed for some time that the other members were urging me to go to church more often. They pressured me to go on Thursdays to the “men’s worship service,” and on Sundays, besides going in the morning, I had to go in the afternoon as well. And thus, little by little, just as everyone did, I had to devote “more time to God” by attending church. The harassment was constant, and I voiced my complaint to my brother the pastor, without knowing that he thought the very same thing.
Christianity must be lived in the Church—they would say—one must attend so as not to leave the brethren alone; and they used quotations from the Old Testament: “Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.” Emotional pressure was exerted upon consciences. Yet the truth is that Faith in Christ must be lived every day and in every place, for it is Faith in God that gives strength to our lives; this Faith is manifested in love for God and neighbor, and must be shown in our daily conduct—everything else is religiosity without fruits.
Christ Jesus transforms our life and gives us the virtue that comes from Him, so that we may bear witness by our actions that His Holy Spirit lives within us, for we are His Temple; for the Most High God does not dwell in temples made by the hands of men, but in the hearts of His children.
Under these circumstances I kept gathering in that church, under the pressure of my brethren, backed by the pastor, who from the pulpit would indirectly refer to me and my family with the term “rotten bananas” that would not ripen in that church—a church where many of the sisters left “everything” to “follow” Christ: husbands, home, and so on. That is to say, they no longer cared about their household duties and their responsibilities toward their children and their “unconverted” husbands, and so forth. The “Christian” life was centered on attendance at “church.”
Many things were changing, and the insistence on attending on Sunday afternoons was because at that “General service” envelopes were handed out so that each person could contribute money—“it was the tithe” that had to be brought into the storehouse to be “offered to God,” which was not going to end up in God’s hands. In addition to this, the whole congregation was pressured to commit to buying a new piano, and so on. The congregation of little brethren was very poor, and this outraged me, but the orders came from above and one had to make the effort. One day those who fell behind in their payments were publicly exposed before everyone. “They had failed God” and had not fulfilled what they had promised Him = to pay for a new piano.
Faced with this pressure, I still clung to remaining with my little brethren; I did not want to leave. Until the break came. On Sundays they began to take attendance—everyone would answer “present”—and they had to go up to a little table to hand in a contribution for the “cleaning” of the temple. One day I went out to preach with my brother the pastor in Tlacotalpan, at a sister church; there, after the service had ended, the brethren were talking about “the divided ones.” These were some believers from that church who had defected and were meeting elsewhere.
Then a little old woman of about 80, thin and pale, in a dress worn out by time and wearing some old, broken little shoes, came up to me and offered me a bit of money, a few coins as “help,” since we had come from far away and she had heard that I was almost a pastor. She was handing me her “tithe.” I said to her then, No, dear sister, do not do this; take these little coins and buy yourself some milk, and go and rest; Jesus Christ loves you, my dear old lady. She smiled at me, and then she went over to the pastor, who was in another part of that temple. From afar I saw my brother the pastor putting the coins into his pocket. On the way back in my car with the pastor I said to him: Brother, I have put my car at the service of the church to go out and preach; I also pay for the gasoline and the highway tolls; we do not need to be given money for expenses—why did you take that money from that little old woman, who needs it more than we do? The pastor said to me, —Do not worry, they feel happy when they do this, so let us make them happy! My conscience could bear no more; this was the final blow—the things that were happening in the temple with the handing in of the envelopes on Sundays, the pressures to attend, and this…. this was the end. I bade farewell to my brother the pastor, I settled up with him for several Bibles I had bought to give away to people, and I said to him: Brother, pray for me; I can no longer stay here. Perhaps I am mistaken, but for me it is better to follow my conscience than to live like this. I do not want anyone to follow me and leave this place; I do not promote sects, quarrels, or division, so it is better that I be the one to go. Then I withdrew with my whole family.
That had been an Independent Pentecostal little church, but it had become a branch of another Church in Mexico City, and so things had changed. From those crude cement floors, with a little old piano and the rest, it had been transformed into luxury flooring, a modern and expensive piano, and other fixtures in aluminum, and so forth. The congregation was encouraged to bring “unconverted” guests every Sunday, whom the pastor would greet warmly in front of everyone in order to draw them in. The preaching of the Gospel was no longer by grace—“freely have you received, freely give,” Jesus had said—and the episode I had lived through with that old woman kept repeating itself in my memory, because Love was absent from the preaching. So I withdrew and left my little brethren. And once again the emptiness, the solitude. This solitude that gives time to think and to reflect on what one has lived through. It is then that the reckoning of the events comes.
The biblical sermons had turned into discourses laden with religiosity and dreams and fantasies, propped up by the superficiality of imagination and superstition. We threw out the little Christmas tree because it was evil—the pastor had preached about the “Saturnalia,” and so on. The preaching had gone astray: sin and evil were now in things and not in the heart of man…….
How could I have believed these fantasies!
And what about my little son who loved to hang the ornaments and watch the little lights on the tree? No, son, this is evil. We are no longer going to put up the little tree; we must go to bed early on the 24th, it is a pagan feast (saturnalia). The passing of time and being “disconnected” from the group brought me back to normality, and then I awoke from my dream. Those were the times of spiritual childhood.
As I recalled the years I had lived in that little church, some of its misguided teachings came to my mind, which I now saw more clearly in the light of reason
You have to “get baptized,”
This demand was constantly insinuated; moreover they would say—if you are baptized in this church you can no longer go to another, because you “belong” here. This held me back; within me something rebelled and said to me: why should I not be free to go and visit another church? For I had evangelical friends from other denominations. One day I saw how the pastor denied permission to some sisters who were asking him to go to a “campaign.” This stopped me completely: I was not going to be baptized with them.
After this the veiled accusations began, the disdain, because “brother José Luis does not have the Holy Spirit.” For according to them, the true Christian must speak in tongues and put on a show for others so that they may realize that he already has the Spirit; that was how I had to prove my Faith to them, besides obeying their demands to attend assiduously.
Many things came to my mind now that I had left that place. Meditating on the Word in my solitude, I found answers. Scripture says:
God shows no partiality toward anyone (Romans 2:11)
Salvation is a Gift of God (Ephesians 2:9)
The just man shall live by Faith. (Romans 1:17)
Faith is demonstrated by works (James 2:14)
The works of the flesh are dead works (Hebrews 6:1)
The truly good works come from God (Ephesians 2:10–James 1:17)
God makes us fit to do His works (Hebrews 13:21)
For Faith is perfected by works (James 2:22)
It is the Holy Spirit who produces in us
both “the willing and the doing” of the works of God (Philippians 2:13)
For all the good that we do
is because God inspires us to do it (Lk 17:10)
The Glory belongs to Christ, my Lord and Savior
for we are His; all is from Him and for Him. (Col 1:16)
For in Him we live, and move, and are (Acts 17:28)
For we are His handiwork and we belong to Him (Ephesians 2:10)
For we have been ransomed at a great price (1 Corinthians 6:20)
Not with gold nor with silver, but with the precious blood
of Our Great God and Savior Jesus Christ (1 Pet 1:18)
These truths of Scripture kept repeating in my mind and gave rest to my soul. And once again I was left alone and without a church.
After some time had passed, I ran into a person; it was a little brother who was hurrying along, heading to the temple for the “service”; and so, out of curiosity, I followed him. And I arrived at an Evangelical Church, where everything was joy and spontaneity,
the brethren sang from the hymnal and the “choruses.” I liked their freedom to sing, each one as best he could. The pastor was a very simple and open person. And I stayed. After a certain time I brought my family. The novelty was that the pastor gave an opportunity to whoever wished to come up and preach the sermon of the day; many took part and shared what they had prepared at home in accordance with the Word. It was something participatory, since the pastor would sit down to listen to the sermons of his brethren as one more brother. How nice—this is like a brotherhood, I would say. But time and reason would show that the Church of God is not like this.
Given the freedom of opinion and of preaching to one’s personal taste, wandering preachers began to arrive at the church, going from church to church proclaiming their doctrines: they were the “evangelists” and “prophets.” These visits were sporadic; suddenly the arrival of a “very anointed preacher” who does much “prayer and fasting” would be announced, and the church would fall into expectation. And I saw it all. From preachers who emphasize the end of the world, the rapture, the appearance of the 666, to those who preach against the TV cartoons. Every local, national, or worldwide event was used to “prophesy” calamities. One would say that it had already been “revealed” to him in prayer, to another in “a dream,” to another in the Word, and so on.
There arrived as well—like ocean currents that drag along everything—circulars, notices, and all kinds of ideas and doctrines that run through the evangelical churches of every denomination, in a mixture of prophecies, ideas, signs, and personal revelations of every sort. Prophecies come and go, ideas come and go, evangelists come and go, preachers come and go, in a world of religiosity, dreams, and revelations that seeks to build its “tower to reach heaven” (Genesis 11:9), each one in his own way, according to his capacity of understanding, digging their own cisterns that hold no water. And the simple people, being dragged along by their preaching. And I too.
Now “Yiye” is coming, a man of much prayer and fasting; they gave me a magazine that contained an envelope asking for dollars to support his evangelistic work, “to be able to send the Gospel via satellite.” Or Morris Cerullo, straight from the USA, comes to the stadium, and “credit cards are accepted.” Or Mr. J. Miranda, who has great “power of God,” for he throws People to the floor after asking them to press up against one another. Campaigns everywhere, “international” Evangelists who suddenly emerge out of nowhere and disappear in the same way. In this church I came to know in depth this “Christian” world.
The news about the fall of Jim Baker shocked many; then came the Waco affair, with David Koresch, and of this little was said in the pulpit. Some churches reacted and denounced these events, saying: = those mistaken people founded sects” We are not sects, and new equations began to be reformulated in order to bring some order.
And new doctrines were created, such as that of “the covering,” which has invaded many churches and movements. The doctrine of the covering consists in each believer making himself responsible for another, keeping watch over him, over his way of thinking and his actions (including the leaders). This doctrine invaded the “Amistad Cristiana” movement, where a little brother from there explained its purpose to me. I recall the words of Scripture:
Unless God builds, in vain do the builders labor. (Ps 27:1)
It is the pride and haughtiness of sinful man that makes him build at Babel (confusion) Genesis 11:9)
And God is not a God of confusion, but of Peace (1 Corinthians 14:33)
Nine years had passed since my departure from Catholicism; now I was an evangelical, the pastor was fond of me, we were friends, and I collaborated with him. I had shared another 3 years in that other church, when suddenly there appeared, without warning,
an avalanche of strange doctrines that invaded the church. It was the prayer of the laying on of hands, to heal every kind of “ailment.” Brethren and pastor would push the forehead of the believers with their hand to throw them to the floor, while others waited to catch them. Then, after leaving them on the floor, it would be said: “leave him lying there, God is dealing with him.” The church looked like a battlefield: people falling at the altar, foaming at the mouth, others repeating refrains and shaking, others rolling on the floor, some others entering into a trance and beginning to dance “the dance in the Spirit.” It was, so they said, the Holy Spirit “manifesting itself.” According to this doctrine, God was the cause of this disorder. The doctrines had arrived by means of the “campaigns” the brethren had attended; there they had learned these extravagances.
The “evangelist” brother A. García had preached at a “divine healing” campaign to which the little brethren of the Church had gone; there they had come to know these deviations and now practiced them. The world of “evangelistic campaigns” is full of many so-called “anointed” preachers, improvised and neophyte people who go about proclaiming their virtues, their “internationalization,” and their personal achievements, using the banner of Jesus Christ. In these campaigns one sees everything. From the high-pitched shouts that provoke the hysteria of the believers, to the show and the entertainment with the hand-waving and foot-stomping on the altar of the preacher, who tells anecdotes and little jokes mixed in with the “message” of the Gospel. Then comes the manipulation of consciences, achieving the desired effect in the mind of the “unconverted” when it is accompanied by veiled threats. Suddenly, a television set is smashed with a baseball bat to destroy sin, causing the emotional impact. And afterward the manipulation: “raise your hands” all together, followed by the drums of the musical band, which plays now soft music, now “Christian” rock, to fill them with “joy.” Once the spectacle is over, with the ensuing “conversions” where the name and address of the convert are taken in order to channel him to the evangelical churches that were present at the campaign, or else to the denomination that invited the “prophet.” Then they proceed to the collection of the “offerings” of love: “We need some people who wish to offer 500 pesos and ……, now those who can give 200, or 100
and finally, those who will give whatever they can to the Lord, and so on. For we need to carry on with this “work” of the Lord
J. Miranda, the preacher who throws People to the floor, would say: I am not leaving this place until God works the miracle for me of collecting what is needed, for He knows that I need to repair my car, so we are not leaving tonight!
My brethren, the people are dying of hunger, the people of God are thirsty, and they seek and take whatever is given to them. Much instruction is needed, and above all a good conscience, so as not to commit these infamous acts that strip those who have nothing. For to many, the love of money comes first. Love of neighbor is only a lesson learned with vain words.
Religion has become for them nothing but a business. (1 Timothy 6:10)
Those circumstances saddened me; I believed I had found a community to join, but now I could do nothing in the face of these events that were leading the church astray, toward doctrinal extremes that were driving it into religious emotionalism and fanaticism
And I began my effort to set my brethren and the pastor straight:
Dear little brethren:
The Holy Spirit cannot lead us into disorder, for God is a God of order and of Peace (1 Corinthians 14:10). God does not go around throwing People to the floor so that they hurt themselves, for the Holy Spirit produces in us the fruits of holiness that are set forth in Galatians 5:22. Before asking God to give us the gifts of the Spirit—among which is included the gift of healing—we must first ask Him for the fruits of the Spirit within us
The first of the fruits of the Spirit is to have Love (Galatians 5:22)
He who has the Holy Spirit has self-control (Galatians 5:23)
He who has the spirit of a prophet must subject himself (1 Cor 14:32)
The gift of tongues is not for showing off, nor for proving to others that one already has the Holy Spirit.
The gift of tongues is given to believers in order to convey the message of the Gospel to every creature. The Holy Spirit enables the believer to speak in other tongues so that Christ may be made known; this is how the believers made Him known on the day of Pentecost, to people of other languages.
Scripture says:
Then how is it that each one of us hears them speak in our own language? (Acts 2:8)
But when someone speaks with this gift and it is not necessary for the community, then he must keep silent and pray only to God, for his own edification. (1 Cor 14:13)
Yet after all these explanations the church continued in its extravagances and deviations. It had become a “worship of the senses,” where sentimentalism and prophetic messianism were the pillars of its doctrine and its faith. During the service, everywhere in the temple one could see brethren laying on hands to heal and to cast out demons, even from the very members who were considered already “converted to Christ,” shouting, scolding, and rebuking “flu demons,” cough demons, headache demons, toothache demons, and so on. The church had gone astray. It was an emotionalist worship, where the senses were worshiped. The attack directed at the psyche of the believers, with the consequent manipulation of their minds, prevented them from reasoning and steadying themselves. The service was enlivened by a musical band that would begin to play soft music with songs of “worship” that suddenly passed into exacerbated “praises,” which made them “shout and dance” and fall into a trance on the floor. The people who wept over the songs of “worship” suddenly had to move into a state of euphoria provoked by “the praises,” for everyone had to follow the direction of the music, which provoked in their minds a sudden emotional imbalance
Pastor and brethren swallowed up by a maelstrom of contradictory and destabilizing emotions that made them shift in seconds from one mood to another, preparing them for the “manifestation” of the Spirit, and suddenly: there it is, power of God! power of God! With these words my brother the pastor would raise the brethren to paroxysm and euphoria; then they would enter a kind of trance that made them “speak in tongues,” utter prophecies, lay on hands, dance all over the church, and so on.
There I came to know what fanaticism is in its purest essence, coupled with the manipulation and control of minds.
And…
Brother José Luis “resists the Holy Spirit,” they would say, for they laid hands on me, pushing me with their fingers on my forehead, yet I would not fall to the ground, while I prayed: “My God, help us; You are not like this. Give them understanding.”
Suddenly sisters would appear who began to give me prophecies about my future, about my life, laden with threats, and so on.
Prophetism, faith-healing, speaking in tongues, and so on, form part of the doctrine of many evangelical churches; it is the “attraction” for many believers, who embrace these emotional beliefs where the gifts of God are emphasized above the true conversion that produces the true fruits of the Spirit. We Christians need to live the true Christian life before asking God for gifts of healing and prophecy. “Seek first the kingdom of God, and the rest shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33) Yet in that church emotion came before obedience to Christ Jesus.
And so the pressures began. It was my wife’s turn; she was reprimanded for not wearing the long skirt down to the ankles, for wearing trousers, then for the makeup, and afterward for the hair. The Christian woman must wear her hair long, they would say. She must not fix herself up, nor must she wear earrings, and so on. After having lived together for 3 years, the useless prohibitions were finally arriving. They had tolerated us for a while, but now we would have to prove our Faith to them. It was the same puritan doctrine denounced by Jesus to the Pharisees, who saw sin in outward things, forgetting that what offends God is born in the heart and not in external things. (Matthew 15:19)
Scripture says:
Do not take this, do not taste that, do not touch that other thing—these are nothing but precepts of men, concerning things that are used up, that wear out and vanish. These doctrines seem profound because of their religiosity and humility
because the body is treated harshly, yet they do nothing but strengthen one’s own pride
Letter of Saint Paul to the Colossians, Ch. 2:21-23
The situation became difficult to bear; the church was closing ranks, and we were not welcome. The pride of “complying” with certain puritan practices in dress and other external acts made them look down on us for not following their customs. And we gradually drew away from my brethren until, one day, we withdrew from this 2nd evangelical church where we had stayed for another 3 years. Then would come the analysis of the experiences; once again in solitude, searching the Scripture
After some time I remembered my brethren from other evangelical denominations who had invited me to their temples. I recall those of “Amistad Cristiana,” whom I visited. It was an evangelical group that held its meetings in halls it rented; they would organize “breakfasts” for middle-class and well-off people, where the “message of the Gospel” was preached with anecdotes, in order to then channel them to the hall (church). The converts were educated people, professionals, and so on. The pastor “Berni” wore a tie in his presentations.
There I witnessed the way in which they celebrated the “supper,” when they handed out to the converted members little pieces of Bimbo bread and grape juice from a cardboard carton, which they would then chew without any reverence. Their supper was something strange, empty, without devotion.
Here too the people were manipulated with songs sung following the lyrics displayed on a projector with transparencies on a screen; they sought the emotional effect on individuals with the songs of “worship.” In time this movement, led by Dr. Pardillo, fell into various extravagances caused by winds of doctrine that arrived from the United States: the theology of prosperity (the theology of greed)
This teaching consists in the increase of material riches, supposedly for those believers who believe in Christ: “God does not want you to live poor”—they would say. So, according to what you “sow,” that you reap. Remember what Paul says to Timothy: “that you may prosper in all things” (prosperity). Whoever gives more money to God (?) receives double; the song said: “if you give Him one peso, the Lord gives you Two.” Urging people to hand over to the “church” (pastor) their money and material goods. I did not stay there long.
With the passing of the years I ran into my brother who had invited me to his Amistad Cristiana congregation. He was no longer with them now; now he “belonged” to another denomination called “Alcance Victoria.” He felt ashamed for having taken me years earlier to Amistad Cristiana, where they went on flooding themselves with strange doctrines. He did not want to tell me the reasons for his defection. Now he was with those of “Alcance,” and he was again inviting me to a concert that the singer Yuri, “converted” to the Gospel, would give with them: “José Luis, come with us to this movement that is being blessed by God; you already know it and you can preach the Gospel.” I did not accept his invitation. Another little brother took me to his temple, which belonged to the “Assemblies of God.”
The same story repeated itself; the novelty was that in this “church” there were “women pastors.” I visited several temples of this organization, where they urged People not to return to Catholicism, since it was the “great harlot,” and so on. On encountering their prejudice, I withdrew.
The commandment of Christ’s love is ignored. Love is absent. The heart is not the temple of the Holy Spirit but a workshop where contempt and prejudice against those who are in the Catholic Church are forged.
I wandered through free, independent churches; in one of them the pastor rebuked me: “submit to your pastors, and here I am the pastor—obey.”
Then the brethren of the Interdenominational church, with their services where whoever goes up to the pulpit must wear long sleeves, the women a veil, and other extravagances, and so on. And then to the “Presbyterian” and the Baptist, until I stopped. A strange evangelical world where Christ is preached, where each one goes about proclaiming his deviations: half-truths mixed with resentments and division.
And my little evangelical brethren, carried along by the winds of doctrine that their pastors impart to them.
Each congregation is according to how the pastor preaches to it. A reflection of his personal tendencies, his successes and errors, vices and virtues. “If you do not submit, you leave.”
The search was over. I had spent 9 years wandering through the desert, fascinated by the oases.
I finally decided to remain alone with my family, and 5 more years passed. Being alone helped me to meditate; reading the Scripture, I would recall the sermons I had received in those churches and would compare.
I remember when I threw my little son’s toys in the trash, for I had heard a sermon against children’s toys. My 9-year-old son innocently accepted that. Then another “anointed one” came to preach who lashed out against the Walt Disney cartoons: they were sin.
When the light is not true, everything is confused. It is taught that sin is in objects, in images, in music, in food, and so on. Ignoring that what offends God is born in the heart of man.
I remember the fear and the uncertainty over the arrival of the 666, the expectation of the “rapture”; even my little son was affected by the dread of being left behind and not being among “the chosen.” Despite my professional studies, the knowledge of the Bible acquired over many years, and even having a solid Christian formation as an Apostle of the Word, I was “affected”; I was dragged along by the winds of the doctrines of men.
How could I have fallen into the mental ravings typical of these deranged wandering preachers, like clouds without water driven by the winds, who resort to slapping and stomping on the pulpit?
There is a power that also moves behind it all: it is the lie and the deceit disguised as biblical truth.
And my little evangelical brethren, immersed in this overwhelming situation that drags them down into the hands of some unscrupulous preachers who live at the expense of their contributions, induced through fear and threat. When some react, defection comes, with the consequent division of the churches: a new group, a new denomination, a new church of Christ.
The Great Harvest Church, Gethsemane Temple, and so on, and once again the multiplication continues
motivated by the lack of love, truth, and understanding—now in rented premises, old cinemas, and even in warehouses where the services are held, and so on.
And now, what shall our new church be called?
Suddenly there arrived from Brazil the “Pare de sufrir” people, “The Universal Church of the Kingdom of God,” with their Brazilian-Portuguese speech, with advertisements in the little newspaper like these: Come and take away the “blessed rose” of Sharon; we bring the “water brought from the Jordan River,” “blessed oil,” and so on. Come and take away a miracle.
On the other hand, there appears the “angel of Jesus Christ,” the “revealer of the Apocalypse”: come to the tent, to the great convention where Williams S. Santiago will be preaching, with a stupendous revelatory message; there will be miracles, everyone is welcome, and so on.
“Great revelations and incredible offers; see our quality and compare our prices.”
The supply and demand of the commercialized Gospel in the fascinating world of the religious supermarket
Five years have passed since I drew away from my brethren and from the last evangelical church I attended. The time has served to analyze things well in the light of Scripture: doctrines, customs, attitudes.
The memories came to my mind, with the consequent search for their foundations in Scripture
Tithe, offerings, prohibitions, customs, threats, shouts, dress, food, objects
demands, prophecies, accusations, 666, and so on.
But there still remained the literature of which I had become an assiduous reader.
As a Catholic I had read everything, but since my departure from there I had begun an insatiable search through the literature of the Christian bookstores. My first little book was “Salid de Ella” (Come Out of Her); then came “las balanzas,” “Estamos de acuerdo Sr. Presidente,” and more and more: Roma la gran mentira, Cortinas de Humo, Una mujer cabalga la bestia, Investigaciones Teológicas sobre el papado, and so on. I read magazines such as: Alberto, los cruzados, and so on; I had a whole library of “Chick” tracts.
Upon reading “salid de ella,” I grew sad and wept; those were the times of my spiritual infancy, and I believed in everything, although something within me felt wrong. The great harlot of the Apocalypse, the beast—everything was aimed at an Ancient Church
and of all the explanations that could be given, none counted—man’s judgment is already made. This is the only thing on which “we Christians” agree; this is what unites us: the accusation and judgment against the Ancient Church. However, some old books fell into my hands, dating from the time of the Reformation, along with some writings of John Calvin and his masterpiece: Institución de la Religión Cristiana (Institutes of the Christian Religion), published today by Editorial Clie. This old work instructed me about what the first reformers of the 16th century thought. Afterward came the work “La Confesión de W.” and “Historia de los valdenses” (History of the Waldenses), and at last I came to know the 95 theses published by M. Luther. It was a focused, enlightened Protestantism, in a certain way just in its claims against the Ancient Church, which set forth its reasons without falling into fanaticism. It was an enlightened Protestantism, devoted to God, which loved holy things, loved Mary, the Mother of God, believed in and respected the saints and the Eucharist, and which sought only to reform the things of the Ancient Church. These Protestants of the past, of the 16th century, had nothing to do with the “prophets of today” who found “churches” everywhere, who, out of the pride of not resolving their differences, go on dividing the body of Christ.
The people of God are dragged along after “enlightened ones” who lead the sheep to the spiritual precipice, where each one goes about proclaiming his own theories. As Scripture says: They are people who feed themselves (Jude 12), fountains without water, who with their vain words (1 Timothy 1:6) seduce the believers, promise them freedom but make them their slaves (2 Peter 2:17-19), and draw the disciples after themselves (Acts 20:30). These “anointed ones” are those to whom the one and only true Anointed One (Christ) Jesus referred. Matthew 24:5
There came to my mind what I had read in “Babilonia misterio religioso.” It was a whole range of accusations from the prosecutors, from the accusers of the Ancient Church. From all those who suddenly read “something” of Scripture and already feel themselves to be messianic prophets, ready like Samuel upon hearing the voice of God that calls them.
But this voice does not call them to bear witness to Christ, but to accuse and condemn, to exercise a judgment of condemnation upon those who are not in their group. Strange prophets of today. Who go about judging and condemning what they do not know, ever learning and never attaining to the knowledge of the truth (2 Timothy 3:7)
They are like clouds carried by the wind that never bring the true rain; like the trees in autumn that bear no fruit; like the foam of the agitated waves of the sea that cast up what they truly have within, for from their conceited heart comes forth what they truly have inside (Jude 12-13)
Any individual who does not know God, when he suddenly reads something of Scripture, feels himself called by God and inspired by a certain spirit that inspires in him not love, forgiveness, and understanding, but resentment, contempt, and hatred toward those who are not in his group. God calls him to be an accusing “prosecutor.” Strange is this spirit, which does not come from God. Which, instead of producing the breaking of the soul, the acknowledgment of one’s own sins so as to begin a new life of conversion to God and of love of neighbor in Christ Jesus, produces interreligious hatred, resentment and strife, disdain, and bitterness of soul. Vainglory, haughtiness, and the pride of being better than others. This does not come from God. Yet the one who writes this lived through all of it; I have been the accuser and the persecutor of Christians, both Catholics and non-Catholics.
As an Apostle of the Word, full of the letter, I felt an infinite contempt for those who have left, for the ignorant who “do not know,” for those who attack our Church, and I would contend fiercely, like a madman. And afterward, to my shame and humiliation, God made me feel what it is to be despised, and I was tempted and left to my own fate, roaming the desert, visiting the oases, because I was foolish, rebellious, and lacking in mercy. Thus I came to know the other side of the coin, when I defected from the Catholic Church.
The resentment toward the Ancient Church “that failed me,” fed by the literature and the preaching from the pulpit—“Rome is the great Babylon, the prostitute of the Apocalypse,” Mary had more children, the pope is the beast, and so on—filled me with rancor, hatred, and bitterness. I believed the Ancient Church was the cause of my ignorance, and so I accused it of my own sins; I did not understand that I needed to change my attitude, not my Church.
And I spoke with bitterness on the tip of my tongue, with rancor and resentment welling up from my heart.
Thus I believed I had the Holy Spirit; I believed I had the love of God
And I lived accusing the Ancient Church, for when one withdraws from there disillusioned, one wants to get even, to throw its errors in its face; the aim is to denigrate, to destroy, to scandalize, to harm the Faith of the little ones who believe in Christ (Lk 17:2), of those to whom the Church, with patience, gives milk and not the solid food that they cannot yet bear, for they still live their Faith with the rudiments (Hebrews 5:12-14)
This is the explanation for my intransigence, for the condemnatory accusation over the use of images—the first rudiments for the little ones of Christ, to whom we must give a little cup of water to quench their thirst.. (Matthew 10:42)
Then I understood what Christ said:
Love and mercy I desire (Matthew 9:13)
For the most important things of the Law are love, Mercy, and Faith (Matthew 23:23)
Neither do I condemn thee (John 8:11)
For God sent not his Son to condemn, but to save. (John 3:17)
CONCLUSION.
Authority is needed.
I had read many evangelical Christian authors such as Samuel Vila, Adolfo Robleto, and so on, and other contemporaries of ours.
Respectable people, instructed in the Lord, who do not waste their time on accusations and bitterness but write to edify. In the face of the avalanche of improvised preachers springing up everywhere, who go about proclaiming their dreams and misguided theories that drag the evangelical people into the abyss of confusion
Suddenly some books by Christian authors reached me who, concerned for the unity of the people of God, have denounced these deviations and sectarianisms; thus different books came into my hands, such as Cristianismo o sectarismo, Dejadlos son guías de ciegos,
La seducción de la Cristiandad, Cristianismo en Crisis, Los profetas de la prosperidad, Pastores que abusan, and so on. Authors such as Jorge Erdely, Eriren Israel, Ridenur, Hanegraaff, Campolo, and so on.
Enlightened people who try to contain the invasion of sectarianism into the Churches and who denounce all kinds of abuses and humiliations that the people suffer with the arrival of the new “enlightened ones” who go on causing divisions within the division.
In those 5 years of solitude I had had too much time to put my ideas in order; now I saw that I was not so mistaken—others thought the same about the disorder
that exists in the churches. I had tried to follow my conscience, and for 5 years I had not set foot in an evangelical church, yet the Faith in Jesus Christ was still alive. The Lord was lifting my punishment. Christ Lives
And so one day I came to an Internet forum, still oozing hatred and rancor against the Catholic Church, fed by the literature of “Christians” who live embittered as I lived
and who devote their lives to being professionals of slander and of rancor.
I fed on all literature that spoke ill of the Ancient Church, the true Church of God; the falls of some priest gladdened me, and I visited the anti-Catholic Internet pages
to rejoice, seeking coincidences with my mistaken thinking.
I fell to the very bottom; my mind was saturated with rancor and bitterness against the Ancient Church. Yet in the Christian groups I had attended during my 14 years as a believer, I had not found the Truth of the Primitive Church, which is based on love of neighbor and of the God of Peace and Love. Everything was bitterness, complaints, and baseless accusations against those who are not in the Christian group to which one belongs.
They were only reflections of the doctrinal confusion, the product of our own sin: the division of the Body of Christ that kept extending unto infinity with the creation of new “churches” led by some “enlightened one,” self-proclaimed pastor by his own authority and not in the Order authorized by God.
And I came upon a Catholic, brother Martín Scholastico, in that intransigent Catholic forum, which made me draw even further away from Catholicism. They committed the same error that I had committed as an Apostle of the Word: refusing to accept the human errors in the Church that need to be accepted and corrected—and to stop rebuking and scolding those who have left, and instead to set to work to improve the house, bearing witness to a true Christian life where good sentiments flourish. So my brother and I left that forum, and a new forum was founded: Ex-Catholics, so that we could speak freely of our complaints without receiving scoldings and the label of heretics.
Then it all began. Thanks be to God for His patience and mercy. Here I met all kinds of friends and brethren; I was able to speak, I was able to unburden all my discontent.
Then I saw that my differences with the Ancient Church were not so great, but I was full of prejudices and did not know how to forgive the sins of the men who had caused evils in the Catholic Church.
In the face of the accusations and offenses of so many friends who came to that forum and who have now left; in the face of the intransigence of many, the prejudices of others, and the offenses against the Virgin Mary, Mother of God made man; in the face of the mockery and guffaws of some who deny Our Lord the Holy Spirit; when I read the outrages of others, and many more offending Christ, I saw myself in a mirror.
And I understood that “all have sinned” Romans 3:23
Authority is needed.
For each one goes about proclaiming whatever occurs to him. Ignorance, the lack of preparation, of instruction, the lack of repentance, of acceptance of one’s own sins, of true knowledge of God—which produces the brokenness, the weeping over the sins committed, over our weaknesses as human beings—in short, for the lack of a true conversion to Christ.
Christianity has become the religion of the letter.
The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Love, is absent from the hearts of men; some live only to please themselves and not God, for they do not care about wounding their weak brethren.
Now faith is based on the intellect, on the knowledge of the letter and not on Christ.
Good sentiments are absent from the heart. The change into a heart of flesh
that truly feels has not yet taken place, for there still exists the heart of stone, full of rancor and resentments toward the Catholic Church
The Holy Spirit is denied, His personhood is questioned. He is no longer the Intercessor, no longer the Advocate, no longer the Lord; He has been reduced to a common force, a fluid, and with mockery He is blasphemed.
The Word of Christ is used to contend; some brethren seem to have been called
to exercise judgment without mercy against others. This is the “Christianity” that I have seen in that Internet forum, with a few exceptions of some evangelicals and a scarce few Catholics who try to be patient in the face of the guffaws of the aggressors.
These experiences over a whole year made me reflect. It was over.
The Christianity that does not seek peace does not obey Christ; love is not a matter of words but of conduct, and each one knows how he has behaved in his everyday life.
I decided to return to the Catholic Church
For if you have something against your brother, go and settle accounts with your brother. God does not hear the prayer if you have not been reconciled.
For God forgives our offenses just as we forgive those who offend us. For the love of God does not dwell in a perverse heart.
For God will judge His Church—it is not man. For those who cause scandals in His Church, God will judge them when they fall into the hands of the Living God.
For One alone made the Law and is fit to judge all. And for many other points that the Lord has granted me to know, of which not all are able to receive.
In the Ancient, Catholic, Universal Church, in the Church of God of all times—there I am going to be, not to condemn but to collaborate and to give encouragement to my brethren, the poor in spirit, the weak in the Faith, those of simple Faith who do not “know” the Bible but who believe with the heart
And I will continue supporting my evangelical brethren, those of simple heart who seek God so that their lives may be transformed—all those who believe in Christ Jesus, love Him and obey Him, and hold no rancor or resentment toward anyone, for they live the commandment.
To all the other Catholics and evangelicals who are such only in name, I will try to be useful to them, striving to obey the commandment of Jesus Christ.
Dead I was, in my offenses and sins, but Your Living Word raised me up
and in the hour of struggle and of trial You give me strength and sustain me, for Jesus Christ, You are my God.
Glory to Christ Jesus, heavens and earth
Bless the Lord
Honor and Glory to You
King of Glory
Love forever to You
God of love
Author: José Luis Vela
